nikhil.io

Two Distant Strangers

Two Distant Strangers (2020)

IMDb

Rating: A-

Saw with CK. 32-minute, Groundhog Day-style short film that snagged an Oscar in its category in 2021. Symbolisms and motif even a pitbull named Jeter can understand. Lots of violence and many parts were difficult to watch, which I suppose is the point1. Look at the futility of attempting reason and compromise with a rotten, systemic problem.

Andrew Howard is frighteningly good as the cop (or ‘The System’). Pulls an effortless Racist Pesci and is Welsh!

Controversy over it being similar in spirit to this 4-minute super short film called “Groundhog Day For A Black Man” by Cynthia Kao.

  1. Brandon Keith Avery describes watching the film as a Black man.↩︎

Nosferatu

Nosferatu (2024)

IMDb

Rating: B+

Saw with LD at the theater (on the last day it was playing!) and am really glad I did. I saw the 1922 version in college and have been mesmerized with it since. People are pretty surprised, like I was, to hear that the story is an unlicensed Dracula knockoff.

This is a really immersive movie. It’s Eggers’ fourth and we’ve seen all of them. The Witch is still our favorite, followed by The Northman. Lily-Rose Depp was just terrific and just might be to some lucky director whatever Helena Bonham Carter was to Tim Burton. The movie just kept vacillating between Eggers’ unique style and vision to that of those insipid (but totally fun) “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” flicks. I don’t think Willem Dafoe’s comedic relief was necessary. I also couldn’t stop focusing on how bad his wig was.

Am told that the soundtrack, by Robin Carolan, is excellent. Bill Skarsdard is totally unrecognizeable as Nosferatu. His character’s surprising and ample mustache could not get me stop thinking of how much he looked like Karel Roden as Rasputin in Hellboy (2004)

Czech actor Karel Roden as Rasputin in the movie Hellboy

Another shot of Karel Roden as Rasputin in the movie Hellboy

Might be the only one here…

I decided to log into my old Twitter account after many years on a whim. I follow no one and have 39 followers.

I saw nothing on my feed but its owner’s boosted posts, a ton of crypto content, Pepe and anti-woke incendiaries, and heavily lopsided political ragebait.

It felt like looking through my Spam folder for a misclassified message. Like ending up on one of those SEO-optimized AI-generated websites that exist to make their owners ad impression money. The internet can certainly be a pretty noisy place but in the case of Twitter Under New Management, it’s the same set of signals weakened by a maddening amount of noise.

I can perhaps understand why but I remain unsure of how people continue to use this thing.

Elon Musk is Lying About Being Good at Video Games

The cringe I get from the explanation from someone who truly knows the game1 is akin to the one I get from “hacking the mainframe” or “tracking the killer’s IP address” or the casual “bypassing the firewall”.

All hat, no cattle indeed. I can venture a guess at the answer but: Why is any of this poorly executed, ultra-cringey enhancement to your ‘mystique’ even necessary?

Update

Pretty sure Elon could isolate the node and dump them on the other side of the router. Via CM. Come to think of it, he might just do “a total rewrite of the whole thing” with “really high velocity”. He can do anything, this guy.

  1. And hearing him say “This is max difficulty on hardcore”↩︎

Moving from Chrome to Firefox

I finally switched over from Chrome to Firefox, after switching away from the latter over 12 years ago. I’d basically given up on any shred of privacy I might have left on the internet, but the final straw for me was Chrome totally bypassing the DNS blocklists on my PiHole1 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Unsurprising, really. You’re encouraged to read this comic (PDF) on the company’s intentionally odious practices2.

The usual argument is “why’re you complaining about something that’s free?” Because I deem privacy to be a fundamental right that is to be respected even if you’re giving shit away. We can gripe about its fundamentalness but can perhaps agree that “Privacy means people know what they’re signing up for — in plain English, and repeatedly.” There’s nothing clear about this with Chrome. It’s not hard to quit doing sneaky and evil things without peoples’ informed consent.

The Good

Transferring bookmarks (of which I have very few) and history was a breeze.

Most extensions I’ve depended upon in Chrome are available for Firefox. There appear to be ways to get Chrome extensions to work in Firefox but I haven’t needed them. Pure nostalgia: I was reminded of the Web Developer extension by Chris Pederick which I starting using in 2004 (I think) to live-edit with CSS (which I thought was just magical, in addition to being a giant time-saver). It’s still around and is still fantastically useful. And available for Chrome as well. lol.

Developer tools, which I need for my job, are mostly the same3 but I found myself preferring the Firefox DevTools a little more for aesthetic/ergonomic/design reasons.

Picture in Picture is excellent.

Preventing YouTube and other websites from autoplaying videos is excellent.

The Okay

Syncing is P2P, not centralized, and not as elegant and “Just Works™” like with Chrome. But it’s mostly the small things. Like how toolbar layouts are not synced4, and how switching the default search provider on your desktop won’t change it on your mobile device. Not a deal-breaker in the least.

On a Mac, the Emoji entry shortcut ( Ctrl+Command+Space) doesn’t work. For the amount of emojis I use in my personal communications, this is far more annoying than the syncing issues.

AirPlay doesn’t work. Never worked on Chrome either. So whatever. Use Safari.

The Bad

None. It’s a fantastic browser.

Other Stuff

So why not Safari? Extensions. That’s really it. It’s a very limited ecosystem and some things I really need aren’t available for Safari. I suppose I could use two different browsers for work and play but I’m not there yet.

While I do use a PiHole, I’d recommend Privacy Badger and uBlock Origin5 to people switching away. Maybe even add NoScript to the mix. I believe Facebook Container is installed by default. The adversarial/defensive relationship we have with the internet feels bit sad to me as a 90s kid who still remembers its magic and promise but that’s how it is.

You can see where Firefox stores your profile via Help → More Troubleshooting Information → Profile Folder

I’ve configured all installations on my laptops and phone to use DuckDuckGo as the default search engine.

  1. The modern website (especially a news site) is a fucking nightmare. Sorry, meant ‘app’.↩︎

  2. Gmail to something like Protonmail is next. This is a much more difficult move for me for various reasons, the primary one being legal communications. Sure, I could forward/relay but that kinda beats the point. One day, and soon 🤞↩︎

  3. There will certainly be “Power” devs who disagree and need that one indispensable feature (or perf metric) but I do not walk in these enlightened circles 🙏↩︎

  4. There’s a manual solution to this. Type about:config, search for services.sync.prefs.sync.browser.uiCustomization.state, and copypasta its contents into the same key on the other machine. If this is a PITA, you may have too many machines.↩︎

  5. And uBlock Origin isn’t intentionally borked on Firefox as it is on Chrome. Don’t be Evil indeed.↩︎

There Are Moms Way Worse Than You by Glenn Boozan

There Are Moms Way Worse Than You (2022)

by Glenn Boozan

ISBN 978-1523515646

Rating: B+

A lovely little book on ghastly parenting by animals that are not us. Gifted this to a family member who just had her first baby and is your normal, apprehensive, anxious, stressed-out, impossibly-in-love first-time parent1. I loved Priscilla Witte’s witty2 illustrations and what I think is the overall message here, which I wrote to her: Try your best and enjoy the ride. All shall be well 🥰

Let’s celebrate the not-so-great and “Wish it had gone better!” Embrace the mediocre family times you share together.

The book has a few notes towards the end. Love a good reminder that Nature is rather hardcore. Two things I thought of as I read short descriptions of why the featured animals do what they do are (1) a minimization of energy/waste and (2) good 'ol natural selection: they just want to make sure they continue to make more of themselves.

Cuckoos are still terrible and I might dislike them more than Canadian Geese, the bros of the bird world. But all this aside, it’s a fact that there is no more worse mom or parent than this nightmare of a human being:

Livia Soprano, the worst person and mom in the world

*shudder*

  1. I’ve only observed these ‘joys’ and have no direct experience of them.↩︎

  2. Heh.↩︎

The Mechanic

The Mechanic (2011)

IMDb

Rating: A+

This is $JASON_STATHAM_MOVIE and I absolutely love it1. It’s familiar, there’s no pretense, you’re a 13-year old, and it feels really nice spending your evening watching some evil-looking people get their (highly improbable) comeuppance from a single and very determined operator. It’s like huddling under a blanket with the air-conditioning on in the Middle Eastern heat in front of your family TV (a 21" Belson) and your Mum makes you greasy food2.

The Beekeeper is next, for days when I say “fuck it” and toss a frozen pizza into the oven after work ✨🍕✨

  1. Just like that other mensch, Liam Neesons. Or that mensch Denzel Washingtons.↩︎

  2. Like cubed potatoes fried in ghee and dusted with garam masala and chili powder, with a very generous and perfectly chilled glass of ayran.↩︎

La Jeteé

La Jeteé (1962)

IMDb

Rating: B+

All the usual suspects (for a movie like this at least): What is memory? Does the past exist? Where and what am I, what the heck is this, and how do I know that it is real? And so on.

No worries there, standard fare so far (for a movie like this that is). What’s truly amazing is how succinctly Chris Marker chooses to explore these questions. If you think your memory of something plays out like a video, he makes you deal with still images that you get to stitch together in your own head. If you think you can ‘hear’ clearly what someone may have said in the past, he makes you deal with this kind of unstructured, abstract (poetic?) narration that kinda makes sense but not really.

LD and I saw this together and, when I asked her what she thought halfway into it, she said she was “very intrigued”. That’s really about it. Takes a few viewings, after which you may avail yourself of the many, many analyses out there1. I just wanted to take in and enjoy a film-making experience I’d never had before, without worrying myself about a ‘message’ (or even a story for that matter).

Totally Ignorant Sidenote: I don’t know what it is about filmmakers and cinematographers who were young in the 50s and 60s that makes them so freaking good at photography. Arrestingly so. In the age of instagratification the first person I could think of who wants you to wait and immerse yourself in a scene is Denis Villeneuve (who works with legends like these).

Here’s an extreme (and yet shitty) example of the opposite of what I’m trying to say up there. Seven seconds and fourteen cuts of a dude jumping a fence. You know, to add the ‘urgency’ and ‘tension’ missing in the shit script.

  1. For instance, there’s this short review by A. O. Scott and this list of what makes an avant-garde film what it is.↩︎

Alien: Romulus

Alien: Romulus (2024)

IMDb

Rating: A

Saw with LD. A (really dark) teenage space adventure that made me feel like I was 14 and was watching “Alien” for the first time on our family TV (a 21" Belson). They tugged at every dormant heartstring from our childhood. Graininess, floppy drives, joysticks, lots of CRT displays, and clunky mechanical keyboards1. Absolutely lush visuals, soundtrack, and cinematography. I’m glad we saw it on a big screen.

Every time I see a space flick I drift off thinking where we’d be as humanity if we got our shit together. I was then brought back to Earth by noting that much of space travel and commerce were enabled and controlled by Weyland-Yutani, the Evil Galactic MegaCorporation that’s responsible for much of the trouble in the Alien franchise beginning, of course, with the Galactic Ego of its MegaRich founder. Not sure why I thought we wouldn’t be in the thrall of unreasonably despotic gazillionaires in a dystopian sci-fi movie…

I last saw Cailee Spaeny in Devs. She’s a most worthy successor to Sigourney Weaver2. But David Jonsson just outstanding as Andy the Android3.

I’ll be watching this again and soon 🥰

  1. Reminds me of a Lewis Black quote on old-school telephones: “The kind that if a puma came at you, you could kill it.”↩︎

  2. The movie made $350M on a shockingly low budget of $80M (which I suppose is what happens when you don’t blow it on expensive/big-name actors) and has excellent reviews. There’s no way they’re not making another one.↩︎

  3. Fine, “Synthetic”↩︎

Nightwhispers by Draconis Star

Nightwhispers (2023)

by Draconis Star

Rating: B+

Always on the lookout for good work music. This was suggested by YouTube’s mighty algorithm and more than fit the bill. A few tracks reminded me of 10,000Hz Legend by Air. You can listen to the entire album on YouTube or visit their Bandcamp page.

I was rather mesmerized by the typeface:

Close-up of album cover highlighting typeface

and, after some searching, found “Infantometric Pro” to be sufficiently close. Look forward to writing some postcards in this style (while listening to this album of course).

Etude in Black

Etude in Black (Season 2, 1972)

IMDb

Rating: B+

I’m re-watching Columbo after around ten years and this is my maiden episode. Read that Rolling Stone recently rated it the 52nd Greatest TV Episode of all time. There are no other Columbo episodes on that list and I’m not sure that I’d pick this one. The sleuthing is underwhelming compared to, say, an absolute banger like The Bye-Bye Sky High I.Q. Murder Case.

Now their description says that Falk was so “superhumanly charming that he could have onscreen chemistry with a doorknob”. This is indisputable, but John Cassavates’ swagger, charm, and presence are truly something to behold. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much his character looked like real-life maestro Leonard Bernstein and whether this was intentional. Like he was a cross between Bernstein and Bourdain.

Oh and Mr. Miyagi’s (briefly) in this too! Not to mention Gwyneth Paltrow’s mom. Unsurprising given the lovely history of guest appearances on the show.

There’s a discussion about how Columbo made $11,000 in 1972. Taxes aside, and according to the BLS calculator, that’s about $85,000 per year. Columbo values the murderer-maestro’s mansion at $750K. That’s ~$6M in today’s dollars. I imagine this is a laughable amount for a mansion that size (with a tennis court (of course)) in today’s Los Angeles though. Cassavetes’ character drives a Jaguar E-Type which I still think is one of the most beautiful cars ever designed.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)

IMDb

Rating: A

I will (a) watch the original and this prequel again soon and (b) name a lot of things “Furiosa” (starting with the tillandsia I’m going to get this weekend).

A mad ride like the first one and I’m amazed again by how they managed to arrest my attention for 2.5 hours. Watched on the big screen with MM. They played vignettes of the first movie during the credits and I told him that the mobile wall of speakers and the guitar guy were Top 5 Maddest Things I’ve seen on a big screen, and I watch a lot of old-school, popular Indian cinema.

They aged Anya Taylor-Joy using AI and it was rather magical1. Chris Hemsworth has fantastic comedic timing. Rictus and Scrotus somehow reminded me of Tweedledee and Tweedledum:

A pair of clowns

  1. Somehow reminded me of how bad the reverse/de-aging was in The Irishman and how far we’ve come.↩︎

Parsing X/HTML with Regex

by StackOverflow

A classic. By various lovely people contributing to the SO community wiki. They do helpfully add: “Have you tried using an XML parser instead?”

You can’t parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can’t be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the n​erves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Rege̿̔̉x-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the transgression of a chi͡ld ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of c͒ͪo͛ͫrrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg​ex parsers for HTML will ins​tantly transport a programmer’s consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil​l devour your HT​ML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fi​ght he com̡e̶s, ̕h̵i​s un̨ho͞ly radiańcé destro҉ying all enli̍̈́̂̈́ghtenment, HTML tags lea͠ki̧n͘g fr̶ǫm ̡yo​͟ur eye͢s̸ ̛l̕ik͏e liq​uid pain, the song of re̸gular exp​ression parsing will exti​nguish the voices of mor​tal man from the sp​here I can see it can you see ̲͚̖͔̙î̩́t̲͎̩̱͔́̋̀ it is beautiful t​he final snuffing of the lie​s of Man ALL IS LOŚ͖̩͇̗̪̏̈́T ALL I​S LOST the pon̷y he comes he c̶̮omes he comes the ich​or permeates all MY FACE MY FACE ᵒh god no NO NOO̼O​O NΘ stop the an​*̶͑̾̾​̅ͫ͏̙̤g͇̫͛͆̾ͫ̑͆l͖͉̗̩̳̟̍ͫͥͨe̠̅s ͎a̧͈͖r̽̾̈́͒͑e n​ot rè̑ͧ̌aͨl̘̝̙̃ͤ͂̾̆ ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ ISͮ̂҉̯͈͕̹̘̱ TO͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚​N̐Y̡ H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘ ̶̧̨̱̹̭̯ͧ̾ͬC̷̙̲̝͖ͭ̏ͥͮ͟Oͮ͏̮̪̝͍M̲̖͊̒ͪͩͬ̚̚͜Ȇ̴̟̟͙̞ͩ͌͝S̨̥̫͎̭ͯ̿̔̀ͅ

A 1st Century Villa in Positano

When I was about 13 or so, I was blown away when I learned that ancient Greek and Roman statues used to be painted and were not commissioned to be ghostly-white. An all-time favorite is this Greek sculpture of a Persian archer.

Greek sculpture of a Persian Archer

I tremendously enjoy any recreations of color in the ancient world. So when I found this mostly intact home from first century Pompeii, I was tickled pink 🥰

Photograph of a first century villa in Positano 1

Photograph of a first century villa in Positano 2

Photograph of a first century villa in Positano 3

Photograph of a first century villa in Positano 4

Photograph of a first century villa in Positano 5

Simply astounding. I got those from Le Sireneuse Journal1. There’s a nice story of its discovery and a lot more detail on their site but the TL;DR is: Built around 1AD, belonged to a rich family (of course), was buried 36ft under a street for a while because of Vesuvius’ eruption, was discovered by a butcher who was digging out a cellar. Was looted.

I hope to visit one day 🤞

  1. The website is pretty but swallows the scrollbar and hijacks the browser’s scroll behaviour to add a maddening level of inertial scroll. It would be nice if people just did normal web things.↩︎

Asteroid City

Asteroid City (2023)

IMDb

Rating: C-

Tidy, as usual when it comes to his movies, but total rubbish. I imagine that I would get this shit if I guided ChatGPT to generate a parody of his most indulgent excesses. Meat for the most hardcore of his fans and a (meticulous) waste of the sheer amount of talent involved. How this has a 75% on RottenTomatoes is beyond me.

In his review for Vulture, Bilge Ebiri remarked, “To the casual observer, Wes Anderson might seem like someone who either refuses to read his own press or has bought into his press to an absurd degree”, alluding to criticism of Anderson’s filmmaking style, but later argued, “There’s a point to all this indulgence. Anderson’s obsessively constructed dioramas explore the very human need to organize, quantify, and control our lives in the face of the unexpected and the uncertain […] Asteroid City might be the purest expression of this dynamic because it’s about the unknown in all its forms.”

Wikipedia

We share a truly exceptional ability as a species to breathe meaning into random and awful things.

I plan on absolving Mr. Anderson by watching The Grand Budapest Hotel soon, for what may be the tenth time. I consider it his finest work and love getting lost in it, something his ego made impossible to do with this garbage1.

  1. Which I only finished because I started.↩︎

In Rainbows by Radiohead

In Rainbows (2007)

by Radiohead

Rating: A+
15 Step
Rating: A
Bodysnatchers
Rating: A
Nude
Rating: A
Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
Rating: A
All I Need
Rating: C
Faust Arp
Rating: A
Reckoner
Rating: A
House Of Cards
Rating: A
Jigsaw Falling Into Place
Rating: A
Videotape
Rating: A

A Fremen Mama

Well not really. I was immediately reminded of (a) where I grew up and (b) Dune when I saw this photo of a Bedouin mother and her child.

A photo of a bedouin woman and her baby by Ilo Battigelli

“Bedouin Mother”, Ilo Battigelli, 1948 (Source Unknown)

Intense and so beautiful. It was composed by this chap called Ilo Battigelli (1922-2009, RIP) who worked for Aramco’s oil refineries in Saudi Arabia until the mid-50s. The locals took to calling him “Ilo the Pirate” because he had his studio at a beach 🏴‍☠️. He appears to have had a long and lovely career as a photographer after leaving the Persian Gulf. You can read a little more about him here.

I was able to find this colorized version by Lorenzo Folli (Instagram).

A colorized photo of a bedouin woman and her baby by Lorenzo Folli

© Lorenzo Folli

Stunning stuff. Folli appears to be quite a master at colorizing history. Two quick favorites are this picture of a young Van Gogh (never saw this bro sans beard!) and Victoria with Abdul the Munshi.

© Lorenzo Folli

© Lorenzo Folli

Letting the Cat Out of the Bag

From the United Automobile Worker magazine, 1937:

“What did you tell that man just now?”
“I told him to hurry.”
“What right do you have to tell him to hurry?”
“I pay him to hurry.”
“How much do you pay him?”
“Four dollars a day.”
“Where do you get the money?”
“I sell products.”
“Who makes the products?”
“He does.”
“How many products does he make in a day?”
“Ten dollars worth.”
“Then, instead of you paying him, he pays you $6 a day to stand around and tell him to hurry.”
“Well, but I own the machines.”
“How did you get the machines?”
“Sold products and bought them.”
“Who made the products?”
“Shut up. He might hear you.”

Sky Force: Reloaded

Sky Force: Reloaded

by iDreamz

Rating: A

I installed this game in May 2018 and finally beat it five years later in June 2023. I wish I could somehow figure out the amount of time I’ve spent trying to beat this exquisitely-made scrolling shooter, for it would be the amount of time I’ve spent on planes, in Ubers, sick and bedridden, or just a little bored, which is mostly when I’d play it. Here’s what it looks like.

It’s fine on a phone (even on an iPhone Mini) but I loved beating some harder levels and modes on my giant iPad. It’s free but I paid to remove the ads and nothing else.

On vacation in North Carolina, my brother-in-law started playing this arcade game called 1944: The Loop Master which looked uncannily like Sky Force: Reloaded.

The Loop Master is, in turn, a sequel to 19XX: The War Against Destiny, which looks like if you applied an 8-bit filter to Sky Force: Reloaded and kept the WWII aesthetic of the boss monsters the same but modernized the player’s aircraft. Here’s a complete playthrough:

I tried to find out why it had a “Reloaded” in the names. It’s based on an older game, simply called Sky Force. I look forward to referencing this post in 2030 🕹️

“CEO’s Skill Set Transferable To Any Job That Requires Dumbass To Receive Big Salary”

NEW YORK—Claiming he could easily fit into a similar position at most companies, local CEO Mike Waltke told reporters Monday that his skill set was transferable to any job that requires an inept dumbass to receive a big salary. “I have the incompetence necessary to effortlessly transition into a role at any company that yields a seven-figure income,” said Waltke, adding that as long as a business pays him millions of dollars a year, he’ll adapt quickly with his long resume of botching simple tasks and making stupid fucking decisions. “No matter what the industry is, if they need a complete doofus who makes tons of money, I’m their guy. I’ve spent my entire life honing my stupidity from one job that pays millions to the next, giving me skills that every corporation is looking for in their highest-paid positions.” Waltke continued that, with a few more years of proving himself to be at the forefront of being a fucking moron, he could one day become the richest dipshit in the world.

The Onion

Must be nice.

Cowsay! 🐮

I love me my cowsay. It’s a lovely amusement that greets me every time I open a terminal session.

Example of cowsay in action

People typically use it with the fortune command but my cow moos a random developer excuse. I generate that using this bash function and this invocation:

command -v cowsay >/dev/null 2>&1 && {
    # shellcheck source=/dev/null
    random_excuse | cowsay -s
    echo ""
}

I was looking for more cowsay templates and found this giant list. You’d use echo "Moomoo" | cowsay -f some_template.cow. If you need color, there’s Charc0al’s list which doubles as a converter in case you want to use your own images. Since I don’t trust things on the internet to continue to be where they are, I saved that repo here.

Sears Homes

Sears, the department store, sold DIY homes via catalog for 32 years between 1908 and 1940 through a program called Sears Modern Homes. They offered 447 different housing styles which you can see here.

The designs were not ‘remarkable’ in any way: Sears themselves admit that they were “not an innovative home designer”. These were just some popular styles at the times they were offered.

However, as a customer, you would have enjoyed a lot of agency in either customizing a home you picked as a starting point from the catalog, or submitting your own custom, crazy blueprint to Sears. Prices ranged from $600 - $6,000 ($18,620 - $186,200 in today’s money). You could get a 5-15 year loan at 6-7% interest.

Your “assembly required” home would have been dispatched to you via railroad boxcar. Your delivery would’ve had around 30,000 (or more) parts of all sorts: wiring, plumbing, bricks, mortar, lumber, staircases, nails, paint, varnish, and so on. To raise this barn, you would’ve either enlisted your family and friends’ help or contracted out the work to a local handyperson.

The most expensive home was an Honor Bilt and looked like this:

Sears estimate that they sold between 70,000 to 75,000 homes over thirty-two years. It is hard to estimate the number of these homes that are still standing for various reasons. For one, Sears’ own records of which homes were sold to whom were inexplicably destroyed during an enthusiastic “corporate house cleaning”. For another, Sears allowed homebuyers a generous amount of customization. Finally, the passage of time that naturally changes a home complicates its identification and authentication.

I was interested in what one of these dwellings looked like on the inside and found this media of a design called the Martha Washington. One was listed in February 2016 in DC for a million dollars.

Sources

Men of Value

by Robert Mitchell

I have never given Jeff Bezos a moment’s thought before this week. I am always interested in extraordinary achievement and often admire it. I am fascinated by what extraordinary achievers understand, and how evolved they are as people.

Looking at him in his astronaut costume, and his cowboy hat, and his omega speedmaster moon watch, coming out of his penis craft, being greeted by his ling cod lipped girlfriend, dripping in oversized diamonds, I saw a man completely without a sense of irony. Not a man aware that he had been entrusted with the greatest fortune in human history to benefit all of humanity, but a small narcissistic buffoon, unaware that the universe is 10,000,000,000 light years wide and he had just spent $5,000,000,000 to fly sixty miles through it, so the whole world could look at him at once and see what a truly small man he is, and hear his Kermit the Frog voice declare that his big plan is to pollute space.

K&R is the One True Indentation Style

Via Wikipedia. I am “not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke” the genesis of other styles. “Haskell Style” has to be a joke (like this masterpiece) and I just pray I don’t encounter it in the wild1 🙏

// Allman
while (x === y)
{
  func1();
  func2();
}

// Horstmann
while (x === y)
{ func1();
  func2();
}

// Kernighan & Ritchie
while (x === y) {
  func1();
  func2();
}

// GNU
while (x === y)
  {
    func1();
    func2();
  }

// Haskell style
while (x === y)
  { func1()
  ; func2()
  ;
  }

// Ratliff style
while (x === y) {
  func1();
  func2();
  }

// Whitesmiths
while (x === y)
  {
  func1();
  func2();
  }

// Lisp style
while (x === y)
  { func1();
    func2(); }

See also: “Vertical Hanging Indent” is the One True Indentation Style

  1. Update: Not exactly HS but good grief.↩︎

Diatoms

They look like priceless brooches and are tremendously important to our planet.

A photo of diatoms through a microscope

Emphases mine:

Living diatoms make up a significant portion of the Earth’s biomass: they generate about 20 to 50 percent of the oxygen produced on the planet each year, take in over 6.7 billion metric tons of silicon each year from the waters in which they live, and constitute nearly half of the organic material found in the oceans. The shells of dead diatoms can reach as much as a half-mile (800 m) deep on the ocean floor, and the entire Amazon basin is fertilized annually by 27 million tons of diatom shell dust transported by transatlantic winds from the African Sahara, much of it from the Bodélé Depression, which was once made up of a system of fresh-water lakes.

Wikipedia
Solace

Solace (2015)

IMDb

Rating: C-

Decent background-watch. Whoever did the ‘visions’ knocked it out of the park. A waste of Anthony Hopkins and Colin Farrell, who play clairvoyants whose powers wax and wane in service of the utterly predictable plot. Like Next1 but slightly better.

  1. Which is a fantastic fucking movie if you love Mr. Cage as sincerely and as much as I do.↩︎

On Knowing Everything When One is Young

When he was young he had prided himself on being clever. Walking down the street, not even thinking anything, just walking along like every other moron, he’d had a distinct sense of how clever he was. He’d never done anything with that cleverness except write stupid articles and make occasionally clever remarks, most of them not even clever. He just felt clever, and it was a good feeling, feeling clever. Now he felt, with equal conviction (and rather more evidence), that he was entering the stupid years. The stupid years complemented the vague years. They went together. The vague years and the stupid years were the same years and they had already started. Well, bring them on. Forgetting everyone’s names - as those adverts in the newspapers were always reminding you - was embarrassing, but apart from that, being stupid was fine, like a premonition of enlightenment.

Geoff Dyer, Jeff in Venice, Death in Varanasi: A Novel

On Mullets

People ask me why in 2023 I’m still rocking a mullet. Easy answer. Without the lettuce I’m just a guy that says dumb shit all the time. When I say dumb shit with the mullet, it’s like my face is saying one thing out front, and my mullet is apologizing out back. My mullet is “Dumb shit out front, I’m sorry but I grew up in Oklahoma out back” Getting mad at something someone said with a mullet is like getting mad at a person with no arms for not waving at you at the mall.

Fake Quote by Mike Gundy

On the Tragedy of systemd

Spent a decent portion of my professional life with init.d. Had to deploy a set of Ubuntu servers last week (use FreeBSD at home), which marked my first actual brush with systemd after a long while of sysadmin-ing Linux systems. It’s weird, takes some getting used to, and has a lovely Enterprise™ smell to it1, but I don’t think I mind it too much, especially with a nice cheatsheet. Just ergonomics; no comments on its security and stewardship 🤐

I wanted to know more about it’s history and enjoyed this really excellent talk by Benno Rice. Had no idea that its creator received death threats and various other forms of online abuse over an innocuous set of ideas and piece of software. Unbelievable.

Some select quotes from the talk and about systemd:

People have a complicated relationship with change. I like to say that nerds especially have a really complicated relationship with change. We love it to pieces. Change is awesome when we’re the ones doing it.

Benno Rice

The moral isn’t “Don’t use systemd”, the moral is “Write stuff in better languages than C”. rsyslog doesn’t exactly have an enviable security record either.

@mjg59

and finally,

The moral is “Don’t use systemd. And don’t chain core system functionality to software from teams with a track record of imcompetence.” It’s about better, experienced programmers. Not “better” languages.

@hyc_symas

Word.

  1. I imagine that init.d did too when it was introduced.↩︎